Parents are not mind readers. You gotta ask
OK this one is for my teen friends out there.
They are worried that they are not doing right by you,
They are worried they are going to somehow screw up.
They are worried that when things don’t go well for you that it’s their fault
When it comes to your relationship with your parents, they really have only 1 worry.
They are worried that they are not enough for you, and there is a part of them and also knows they are not enough for you. They can’t be because we can’t be all things to all people. That’s impossible and it’s why they are desperately trying to be.
So when you’re annoyed with your parents because ….
they don’t understand what you’re going through
they don’t see things the way you see them
they don’t give you what you feel they need to do for you
they don’t automatically know what’s in your brain
…cut them some slack!
They’re doing the best they can.
So please, before you get annoyed with them,
take a breath
figure out exactly what it is you are wanting at that moment
then sit down and ask them for what you need from them (and I’m not talking about a new iPhone. I’m talking about the real stuff…..like if you need them to hear you and not interrupt just so you get it out, because it’s hard for you to say.
“Mom and Dad, you’re probably going to have opinions, this is really hard for me to get out so I would like it if you could just stay quiet and let me finish before you interject”
Sometimes what you just need from them is a hug right now. But for the last six months you’ve been pushing them away
Don’t drop me off in front of the school because that’s embarrassing
Don’t kiss me in front of my friends
Don’t yell I love you at the car window
They are not sure what they should do! They feel like they want to hug you but have been trying to honour what you need.
“Mom, can I have a hug right now? It doesn’t mean I want one every five minutes, but I need one right now?”
Your parents are not mind readers and they don’t know what you need and, they are
afraid of not being what you need.
So help them out by asking for what you need instead of being mad that they don’t understand you.
You will get more of what you need and they’re gonna feel better about giving it to you.