My youth friends….this one is for YOU!
I want you to know that I see you. I know how much it can suck. I remember being your age. I really really do. And with social media, it just sucks a little faster and the 💩
spreads a lot faster. I want you to know, I feel you.
Do you know who else feels you? Your parents. No, seriously. I know you don’t think they get it. I know you don’t think they remember. Here is the thing. Not only do they remember but they are still living the exact same core worries as you.
It may not show up the same way but here is one solid truth - We all want the same 2 things.
To be accepted
To be loved
The rest is just the million different ways we try to achieve those 2 things.
Having friends, having people you can confide in, having a bestie who you can share everything with and trust they won’t spill all your secrets when they are mad at you, fitting in with the group that likes what you like, having a special someone, …..that desire to be accepted never ends.
For you it shows up as likes on Instagram, having people to eat lunch with, getting asked to the ‘right’ Friday night party, getting asked to the movies and having them hold your hand.
For your parents it shows up as approval from their boss, getting invited to the ‘right’ dinner party, knowing the neighbours like them, having a loving relationship.
Being accepted is a universal desire. We all want to have our peeps and we all want those peeps to love us. You have this big thing in common with your parents.
Here is the thing. We have to be really careful that we don’t get these things ‘at all costs’. There are positive healthy places and ways to be accepted and there are unhealthy and negative ways to get accepted and feel love. They both fill the need, but some come with a heavier set of negative consequences than others.
I recently read a really awesome phrase and Think it’s worth remembering when I am seeking that fitting in and that love.
I love this reminder that I don’t need love from everyone, just from those that really matter to my heart. Just those that I don’t need to fight for or prove I’m worthy of it. Those who just give it freely.
Find the right people.
You don’t need all the people.
Find YOUR people.